For anyone who needs to read this...

Today's post is all about failing (or not failing, I should say).

You are not failing...

You are not failing if your house isn't pristine every minute of the day.
 
Maybe you see people on Instagram with spotless houses that look like showrooms. But there's a lot they're not showing you.
 
You're not failing if your body isn't perfect.
 
This is a completely unreasonable expectation.
 
[And it's kind of pointless too. What's the sense in hating our bodies - what does this do for us?!]
 
You're not a failure if you don't have the job of your dreams... a loving family... or a yearly vacation in the sun sipping brightly-colored cocktails.
 
So many people don't have these things. (I'm not saying it's wrong to desire these things. But you're not a failure if you don't have them, or don't want them.)
 
You're not a failure if you shout at your kids in a moment of frustration. 
 
I don't mean like scary, angry, abusive shouting – that's an entirely different thing.
 
I mean when you're absolutely frazzled at the end of the day and you snap at your kids, and then feel terrible and apologize. 
 
You're not a failure for doing this.
 
And you're not a failure if you don't hit inbox zero every day. 
 
(That's something I can only dream of these days! :)

The way I see it...
 
The changes we've seen in technology over the past few decades have brought wonderful things.
 
(If you'd have told 17-year-old me about Google maps, I would have lost my mind; no more “mapbook open on the seat, trying to get to a place you don't know, frantically turning the pages and trying not to cry or crash, or both!” :) 
 
But changes in technology have meant that everything has sped up… and I don't believe we're equipped to deal with it yet. 
 
This isn't a rant about technology.
 
But there's a lot we're not realizing about it. 

Think about this...
  
You can send a message to someone across the world and instantly see not only if it's reached them, but if they've read it or not!
 
It’s insane, when you think about it!
 
And yet, even in my grandparents’ generation, the main method of contact would be to send a letter, which would take a few days to arrive… and then the person would have a day or two to reply… and by the time they mailed it back, a week would have passed!  
 
Things have sped up - a lot.

Know this...
 
You are NOT a failure if you're not on top of every area your life, or following every trend.
 
It's Just. Not. Possible.
 
You aren’t doing anything wrong!
 
You aren’t failing.
 
We're just learning how to navigate this new world. [Spoiler Alert: I think it will involve lots of setting boundaries, which is not a bad thing.]
 
You aren’t a failure if you’re not acing every single thing in your life, every single day.

• Even those days where you can barely make it out of bed.
  
  
• Even those days where you eat a family-sized pack of chips/crisps on your own.
  
  
• Even those days where you see other people's social media posts and think… “What's wrong with me?!”

 
There is nothing wrong with you.
 
Anyone who looks like they're "crushing it" in everything is either lying or delusional.
 
Everyone has setbacks.
 
Some people just cover it up better than others (or hide it, or deny it).
 
Don't believe the hype ;)
 
You are enough, just being you. 
 
That’s it for this week.
 
Enough of the harsh self-talk – let’s give ourselves some high-fives just for getting through the week!

As always, I love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to pop a comment below! 

Hugs to you,
 
Claire  

❤
​

Hi, everyone!

Thoughts from this month... 

I was so happy last month to finally get back into my newsletters and blog posts (and thank you to everyone who sent such lovely messages in response! I really treasured them).
 
Funnily enough, my first newsletter provided some great learning… (I do love a good learning situation ;)
 
As I set out to write my newsletter last month, I opened up my newsletter template.
 
And as I looked at the template, I could feel the “niggles” starting up.
 
That little voice in my head.
 
I looked at the picture at the top.
 
(It’s just a generic picture of a horizon for now… not especially related to the work I do!)
 
I could feel myself starting to get caught up on it.
 
I started to have thoughts like:
 
My picture isn't that relevant… what are people gonna think about it… maybe it doesn't look very professional… maybe I should find a better photo…
 
And so on.

My realization... 

I realized that these are the things that derail us.
 
These are the things we get stuck on... the things that stop us from doing the (genuinely) important things.
 
Because you know what?
 
It doesn't really matter what image I put at the top of my newsletters!
 
(I mean, of course it helps if it’s inspirational!)
 
But my guess is that people didn't sign up to the newsletters because of the image at the top.
 
My guess - or hope - is that they subscribed because of the content (or for a dose of sarcastic British humour ;)
 
And yet, little things like this can make or break our goals.
 
An example... 

One example I see in my work is with people who are starting a business.
 
So often I hear things like:
 
“I need to have an amazing logo, and website, and professional images, and a newsletter, and a podcast, before I can get properly started on my business…”
 
Don’t get me wrong, these things are important.
 
But it’s so overwhelming to think of doing them all in one go!
 
It’s just not realistic.
 
Of course we want our work to be as good as possible… but we also have to know when to draw the line.

Taking it further… 

Take the example of logos - have a think about this:

• Have you ever stopped working with a company because of their logo?
  
  (Do you even notice the logo of many of the companies you use or work with?!)
  
  
• Do you use Google because of the logo they chose; or because of the function it serves?
  
  
• Or your local grocery store: did you choose that grocery store because of their logo, or for other reasons?
  
  (My guess is that it’s other reasons!)

 
I understand the temptation to get caught up in these small things, but they can really derail us.
 
Now, I’m not saying don’t do them at all!
 
I am saying keep a sense of perspective:
 
- If you’re training for a 10k, you don’t necessarily need a full sports wardrobe before you start running. (You probably just need some running shoes!)
 
- If you were trying to eat healthily but then had a piece of cake at a party, you don’t need to give up on all the work you’ve done up to that point.

Final thoughts… 

​It’s not gonna be perfect all the time.
 
We are gonna hit stumbling blocks along the way.
 
But it’s how we handle them that makes the difference.
 
Approaching it with kindness (and realism) is often what we need:

• My newsletter image isn’t perfect, but that’s okay…
  
  
• I ate that piece of cake, but that doesn’t mean I ruined everything…
  
  
• I don’t have a great logo, but that doesn’t stop me from getting clients!

 
So, my blue image is staying put, for now :)
 
Maybe I’ll tackle it in the future.
 
But for now, I know that it’s a Small Thing, so I don’t need to worry about it.
 
[And what are the big things, for me? Writing content that people enjoy. Doing work that genuinely helps people. And trying to live up to my potential, so I can inspire others to do the same.]
 
So, my question to you today is:
 
What are YOUR big things? (the things that are really important to you)
 
And are you focusing on them... or on the things that don’t really matter?
 
Go gentle with yourself. We’re all just learning in this game called Life!
 
See you next month. Blue pic and all :)

Love,
 
Claire  

❤

Ahem. I haven't written a blog post in an incredibly long time.
 
Some of you (many of you even!) may not even remember who I am. That's ok - reintroductions are a-comin’ :)

A summary of goings-on... 

Unfortunately I've had a really difficult few years. I went through an incredibly difficult time personally – one that I'm still coming out of, to be honest.
 
And anyone who's been through a really difficult time will know that you fall into a (figurative) pit, and it can take a long time to claw your way out.
 
Well, I've been clawing for the last few years!
 
But, I am BACK, and doing much better. (Hooray!)
 
The “funny” thing about having an intense personal setback is that sometimes you come out like yourself, but a whole new model: remade and rebuilt and 100 times stronger.
 
I'm not back to exactly where I want to be yet, but I'm back enough to know that it's time to start blogging again.  

A bit about me… 

I’m Claire, and I'm an Accountability and Goals coach.
 
I work with people to get a clear idea of what to work on each week, so they can tick the important things off their to-do list, rather than bumping them to the next day... (or week, or month - yes, I see you! ;)
 
I've been an accountability coach for about seven or eight years.
 
I used to think that my job was “just" accountability, but over the years I've learned that there are three components to what I do.

-> The first is accountability, of course. Checking in with people and cheering them on. 

But before you can even start working on your goals, you need to know what they are.

-> So I help people get crystal clear on their goals - what they want their life to look like (and then we make progress towards that).

-> The third part is often overlooked but I think it's the most essential… our self-talk.

The way we talk to ourselves - that voice inside your head.
 
Not in a “crazy” way, but I think most of us have that constant chatter in the background.
 
And for many of us, that voice is pretty harsh!
 
So a lot of my work is drawing attention to that voice, and talking back to it… (because honestly, most of the time the stuff it's telling us is bullsh*t!)

So that's the focus of my work and these posts:

• getting clear on what you want (not what society makes you think you want);
  
  
• achieving your goals and dreams rather than just talking about them;
  
  
• a WHOLE lot about being kind to ourselves.

 
If that sounds like your thing, I look forward to having you along for the ride!

My promise to you... 

For those of you who remember my blog posts from back in the day, I always tried to be as open and honest as I could in them.
 
[Example: total honesty moment - I've drafted about 10 of these “Hello, remember me?!” posts, but I kept deleting them cause I wasn't happy with them!]
 
It was a good lesson in not needing things to be perfect all the time.
 
This blog post isn't perfect… but it doesn't need to be.
 
Sometimes we just need to focus on the main goal - what outcome we want.
 
My main goal today is just to say:
 
“Hey! It's Claire. It’s been a really long time… but I hope you still enjoy reading these posts”.
 
My aim for my blog posts is to make you feel better about yourself and give you inspiration.

Final thing…

I hope you're doing well, and I'm sending tons of love to wherever you are in the world.
 
I always love hearing from people, so feel free to shoot me a line telling me about yourself and your goals if you like!
 
Please know that you are important in the world - and I’ll see you next month! :)
 
Claire  

❤

​We’ve had snow here this week, which has been really pretty.
 
I went out walking with my son today, and held his hand to make sure he didn’t slip over, as it was icy in places.
 
And as we came to a patch of ice on the path, I deliberately walked on the safe, non-icy part.