What happens when we act from a place of fear

​Two of the most difficult bosses I ever worked for were people who managed from a place of fear. 

What do I mean by that?

Well, basically, they were afraid in their management.  

  
​They were afraid - and were ruled by their fear. ​

They were afraid of:
 

• being fired or not making their quarterly targets;
• not being liked in the office;
• their work not being good enough;
• losing their business or losing clients;
• not earning enough money to pay the bills;
• not knowing where the next client would come from.

Now I’m not saying these weren’t valid concerns at times. 

We all have days of wondering where the money’s going to come from. 

But the thing about these people was that they let it rule how they managed.

They were consumed by their fear.

They worked, and managed (and therefore communicated with people) from a place of fear.

Now I’m not saying that fear is wrong, or I don’t experience it (I definitely do!)

But as an employee working for these people, they were generally:

• irritable
• defensive
• inconsistent.

Life wasn’t much fun on their team!

I was thinking about one of these managers recently, and it struck me:

Fear is ever-present... but it doesn’t have to dominate our lives. 

If it does, it’s a real shame.

Because when we operate from a place of fear, it’s really hard to be creative.

To find solutions.

To give love and see another person’s point of view.

So here’s my thought for you today:

Are you operating from a place of fear?

Or are you operating from a place of curiosity, love, or hope?

A few examples:

You’re writing your new book, and you’re afraid that no one will like it or buy it.

How does it affect your writing? 

Well, it probably doesn’t get those creative juices flowing!

You’re training for your first triathlon, and you’re worried you’re not going to make it across the finish line.

How does it affect your training?

The best runs I’ve been on have been the ones where I know I can do it… where I believe in myself. 

The ones I’m not sure I can complete are always the ones I give up on, feel crap half way round, or even do myself an injury.

You’re starting your new business, and you’re afraid it won’t go anywhere.

How does this affect your dealings with people... how you promote your business... how you talk about your business to people?

You probably don't overflow with excitement and passion. Likely, your fear will come across… and that's not great for building trust!

So what can we do instead?

Well, awareness is a great place to start.

So, ask yourself:
​ 

• Am I in a place of fear right now?
  
  
• Am I afraid? (of what will happen, of what I haven’t done, of what I have to do…)

Telltale signs you are coming from a place of fear: if you feel worried, anxious, have no idea what to do next, or don’t believe you can do it at all…

And the next step?

Switch that fear to another emotion:

Curiosity is a great one...

I wonder... how I could reach out to more clients?

I wonder... what training group I could join to help me with my next race?

I wonder... what it will feel like to hold my finished book in my hand?

I wonder... what my next step could be?

Or, even better: replace it with love. 

It’s really hard to be afraid and to feel love at the same time.

[Don't believe me? Try it! Try thinking of someone you really, really love. 

Picture them, and think about why you love them.

Do you feel afraid? 

Likely not!]

The two feelings - love and fear - can’t exist together.

How would your actions change if you approached your project with love?
​

• I love my business! I love working on it, and what I’m creating!
  
  
• I love running marathons / doing sports challenges! I love that I get to do them, and the feeling of crossing that finish line!
  
  
• I love my new book / blog / career / travel plans. I love that I get to do “X” and that it brings me “Y”. I love having this in my life!

See, we all experience fear.

But if we act from that place of fear, consistently, we won’t get the results we want.
 
We can’t.

My old managers were a perfect cautionary tale for me.

To see them managing from a place of fear, and see how it held them back... how it prevented them from being good managers. 

From connecting with people.

From seeing opportunities, and allowing themselves to take amazing risks that could have far-reaching benefits in their life. 

So what do you want?

Do you want to hang out in a place of fear?

Or do you want to be creative… resourceful… find solutions?

Now don't panic - I definitely come at things from a place of fear from time to time. 

When I snap at my partner; deep down I just want reassurance that he loves me.

When I can't think what to work on next for my business, it's usually cause I'm coming from a place of fear. ("What if what I'm doing is a pile of crap?")

And now, over to you:

What are you in a place of fear about?

What is fear holding you back from?

How can you move from a place of fear, and see things in a different light? What emotion can you replace fear with?

It can be anything! Excitement... daring... love... hope... playfulness...

As always, I’d love to know what your experiences are... how you’ve dealt with this. When you've moved out of that place of fear... and what the result brought you.

It’s okay to be afraid.

But remember that none of the (really) good stuff comes from it ;)

Sending love, curiosity, and brazenness your way :)

Claire
​