I was lying in bed the other night after a fairly tough day, and in a moment of calmness, I thought to myself: “Well done me for getting through today. Well done me for surviving!” See, occasionally when I’m lying in bed at night, I’ll think about all the things I didn’t do that day: all the things that went wrong, or the things I shouldn’t have said.
The ways I should improve, or the weaknesses I’m struggling with. But this is a TERRIBLE way to end the day, when you think about it! So instead, I gave myself a mental ‘pat on the back’ for all the things I had done, or the things that had gone right. Tiny things. But things worth noting, all the same. Here’s a few examples: Well done me for leaving enough time to catch the bus to work. (I’ve been running late the past few days.) Well done me for making it to work! (I really didn’t want to go.) Well done me for smiling and being calm when I had to deal with a difficult customer. (I really wanted to give a sarcastic response and walk away.) Well done me for making a homemade lunch rather than getting takeout or eating something unhealthy. And so on… you get the idea. So here’s my thought for you today: What if you ended your day this way? What if you congratulated yourself on the tiny, miniscule things you did do during the day… instead of listing all the things you didn’t do, or the ways you “failed”? What if you took a moment to be your own cheerleader… instead of your biggest critic? And don’t worry – this won’t make you arrogant. We’re just doing it for ourselves. You don’t have to go round telling people about your tiny wins! But why not flip round your thinking. Give yourself a “yay” for everything you do get done. Every situation you survive. As humans, we find it incredibly easy to put ourselves down. We’re aware of our weaknesses and failings, and all the things we want to do, or be... but aren’t. And yet, so rarely do we acknowledge the fact that every day we are trying, and learning, and doing things that we don’t always want to do! So here’s my suggestion for you today: Instead of berating yourself for not being productive / confident / efficient / energized enough… Why not take a moment to acknowledge all the things you did do? Well done me for being smart and saying no to that event tonight, so I could give myself some down time. Well done me for making that scary phone call, even if it didn’t go that well – at least I did it. Well done me for not losing it at my partner when he forgot to buy milk. Well done me for getting through today and not killing anyone! ;) We always seem to be in a cycle of improving, growing, and being the best we can be (and I’m not against those things). But remember to acknowledge all the things you are doing already. The little things (that might sound stupid). Well done for combing your hair and getting dressed, when you really felt like hiding from the world. Well done for making it out the door without toothpaste on your shirt :) Because if you don’t cheer yourself on, who will? Think about this: Would you rather have a nasty critic in your head, or a positive cheerleader? (And for those people who say the critic helps them get things done… how does it feel as you're doing them?) So, to finish up... well done me for drafting this email before I go to work! Well done you for reading it :) And well done you for getting to the bottom! It’s okay - no, it's great - to have goals and dreams. But don’t be hard on yourself... that voice in your head will be with you for the rest of your life. Why not make it a kind, caring voice? With high fives and whoops for your tiny wins, Claire
4 Comments
12/15/2017 06:35:55 am
I think this could create a beautiful positive (pun intended) feedback loop. My tiny wins today: 1. sleeping through the night! 2. Making a healthy breakfast for myself. 3. Engaging on social media (which is something I need to do for work, and actually kind of dread).
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12/15/2017 06:35:00 pm
Hey Amanda, FAB tiny wins! I also slept through the night as I've been having interrupted sleep recently... yay us! ;) Healthy breakfast = great start to the day! And WELL DONE for doing the social media stuff, especially if you don't love it. Beautiful positive feedback loops are great! :)
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Chloe
1/25/2018 12:53:03 pm
I love this! Such a great idea, helps me feel more accomplished and just feels kind and loving to myself.
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1/27/2018 09:58:28 am
Hey Chloe, great to have you here! Thanks for your kind comment - and YES to feeling kind and loving towards ourselves! That's awesome. Ah thanks - I had checked the Yes and Yes site a few days ago so your comment must have snuck in just after ;) I've sent you a reply - and am wishing you well on your journey! Claire
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