Today I want to talk about feeling bad about feeling bad.
(And then feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad... Okay - enough, Claire!)
See, I have friends who are grieving very terrible losses.
And I had a tough time with the birth of my baby. It was a difficult delivery, and I had a slow recovery, with no family around to help.
Sometimes it’s easy to think: “I have no reason to find life tough: I’m not grieving, or have a baby in intensive care (for example). I don’t have the right to feel scared, anxious, down, or crappy...”
But those kind of thoughts aren’t helpful.
Because there’s no “one-upmanship” in terms of pain or struggle.
We’re all entitled to go through our struggles.
Even if they don’t seem as "serious" or "terrible" as someone else’s.
It’s great to have perspective… but if your friend is dealing with cancer, and your dog just died:
It’s OK to be sad for your friend, but also need to do self-care for yourself.
You’re entitled to feel your feelings as much as anyone else.
There isn’t a gauge for who should feel worse.
Now, that doesn’t mean we can’t be there for friends who are in seemingly “worse” situations.
But know that what you’re going through is real, and allow yourself to feel it.
Because when we take care of ourselves, we have more energy and love to take care of other people.
And doesn’t that sound good?!
So go easy on yourself. Give yourself a hug, have a cookie or a glass of water, and know that we're all a work in progress.
Wishing you the smallest, most fleeting of troubles :)