Does it matter?

​Yesterday I woke up at 4:14 am.
 
My mind was racing.
 
I’ve had a lot on recently, and as a result, have gotten behind on a lot.

So thoughts rushed round my head, like a pinball machine.
 
I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't.
 
I was 100% wide awake, thinking about all the things I was neglecting:

• Paperwork
• Emails
• Cleaning
• Being a good friend
• Being in touch with family members
• Fitness classes
• Work in general
• Life in general!

 
So what did I do?
 
I finally got up, downloaded my thoughts onto paper (which always helps me), and texted a good friend (who luckily lives a timezone ahead!)
 
I told her I needed to offload.
 
And I shared all the things I’m focusing on that don’t matter.
 
Things like:

• Facebook messages I haven’t replied to
• My overflowing inbox and the emails I need to get back to
• The sugar I’m eating (I just had a birthday, so have lots of treats in the house!)
• An acquaintance who got offended by me being busy and not having enough time for her
• Worrying if the work I do is any good (the work itself is important – but the worry isn’t!)

 
And much, much more.
 
But I wanted to finish my text on a positive note.
 
To move on from these feelings, not wallow in them.
 
So I told my friend:
 
“But none of this stuff matters!
 
So, what does matter?”
 
Here's what I said:
 
What matters to me...

• Our friendship (we've been through marriages, deaths, moving country, job losses, and other situations together)

 

• My relationship with my partner, who heard me tossing and turning at 4 in the morning, and gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay

 

• The people who care about me, and check in with me, and make me feel loved

 

• The work I am doing for my business, that makes me feel alive and hopefully helps other people.

 
And lots of other things beside.
 
These things matter.
 
This is the important stuff.
 
Not Facebook messages, or emails, or people who get offended when you don’t reply to their text message the same day.
 
Because who will care about your to-do list when you’re gone?
 
Who will care that you got through all your emails, or had a 1-hour response rate to your text messages?
 
So my question for you today is:
 
What matters?
 
What matters to you?
 
Get clear on it.
 
Really clear.
 
And then focus on these things.
 
Everything else is just “stuff” created by other people, that we don’t really need.
 
So I’m going to downgrade it.
 
And I suggest you do the same.
 
What matters to you?
 
Let me know in the comments, or send me an email.
 
Because it’s easy to get caught up in the loud, attention-seeking stuff (that generally doesn’t matter), and forget what does matter.
 
Hugs with loved ones. Cute puppies bouncing along the street. When it (finally) stops raining and the sun comes out. Feeling at peace because you took a day off from your to-do list. Going on a road trip with your favourite music blasting.
 
Love. Friendship. Kindness. Sharing. Openness.
 
What matters to you, really?

Focus on the good stuff, and slot the other stuff around it.

​Hugs from rainy Vancouver, 

Claire
 
PS - Also: you matter. In case you forgot :)
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