I’m expecting a baby soon, and am learning that you get a LOT of advice when you’re pregnant. Don’t get me wrong… most of it is helpful, and all of it is well-meaning. But people have very specific thoughts and beliefs around babies. My example...
Recently I was chatting with a friend who doesn’t have kids. I told her I needed to get my hair re-dyed, and she looked at me in horror: “You can’t dye your hair when you’re pregnant!” (Now, whether you can or not isn’t the focus of this post – we won’t go into that here.) But her comment reminded me that being pregnant is a bit like running your own business, or working towards a goal that’s really important to you: People have lots of advice for you. People will have very strong beliefs around what you’re doing. But not all advice is good advice. And the people who care about us don’t always know what is best for us. So here’s my advice for today (haha!) And feel free to take it or leave it... That uncle who asks why you’re writing that book if no one’s going to read it, and tells you it’s ridiculously hard to get published… Feel free to ignore his comments, and carry on anyway. That friend who tells you you can’t do “X” in your business… (when “X” might be leaving social media, not getting business cards, or anything people believe is “essential”)… Feel free to ignore her advice, and do what feels right for you. Your brother who tells you you’re not bringing up your kids right, or you’re not living your life the way he thinks you should… How would he know what’s best for you? You know what is best for you, above anyone else! But here’s the thing: It is much easier to do the above if you know why you're doing what you’re doing. If you have a clear goal or desire in mind. If you love what you do, why stop? If it is bringing you closer to the life you truly want to lead, why not keep going along that path? Because friends and family have the best intentions for us. But they’re coming from their own situation, experiences and beliefs. And it’s perfectly okay to ignore their advice! You can be kind about it - listen, thank the person, and take what you need. So here's what I suggest... For my pregnancy and my business, I intend to:
If what you do brings you joy, keep going. If what you’re doing creates a spark inside of you, or makes you feel “whole” or more like “you”, keep going. And if you don’t like anything I’ve said in this email, feel free to ignore it! :) I’d love to know – how do you keep going, despite the “noise” from other people? Let me know in the comments. And now, I’m off to do what feels right for me – sit quietly and drink a cup of tea, while thinking of my baby, before I get back on with some work for my business. Enjoy the rest of your week, lovely readers! Claire
2 Comments
4/5/2018 12:21:39 pm
You post is so timely! I received advice from two different people today regarding my novel in progress. Both people gave me great advice, but I have gotten advice before that I needed to ignore. I'm learning to seek out other writers I admire for their hard work and creative minds, not to copy them, but to listen to what they have to say. I really appreciate it when they go the extra step to share mistakes they've made because sometimes those are the best lessons!
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4/8/2018 10:44:58 am
Hi Priscilla. Thanks for your congrats! And I'm glad the post came at the right time :) I'm finding it such a good skill to learn what advice works for me, and what advice it is okay to ignore.
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