In the first of my Real Life Stories, I’m introducing....
my brother, Simon!
Simon moved to Berlin, Germany, three years ago. He had never visited the city before, so didn’t know what to expect. He works as a tour guide for a bike tour company, as well as occasional work at an Escape Room company.
I grilled him about moving abroad: what he found hardest, what he had learned... and a whole bunch of other stuff!
Let's dive in...
Did you always want to live abroad, or was it a recent decision?
Definitely a recent one. When I was in my early twenties (I’m now 28), I found the idea of living abroad a bit weird - I couldn't understand why you would want to do it! So it’s been interesting to see this growth in myself.
I don't remember the specific moment when I decided to move abroad… I suppose you inspired me with your move abroad a few years before! [Author note: I did not prompt him to say this :)]
It was more of a gradual thing; I started meeting more people from other countries during my Masters degree. And then I took a holiday to Croatia and it opened my eyes up to different cultures and situations, and made me want to explore the world around me more. So it was definitely a more recent decision.
Did you know you which country you wanted to go to from the start?
I was learning German at the time (because I had German friends) so, for me, the language was the decider. I really enjoyed learning German, so it made sense to look at Germany as an option – and obviously studying German limited the countries I could go to!
In terms of which city I went to, I had some friends living in Munich, so it would have made more sense to go there - and that would have been more typically “German”...but I wanted to do something different. Even though I knew it would be out of my comfort zone, I wanted the satisfaction of doing something different and exciting. Other people had said good things about Berlin, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could move there.
I grilled him about moving abroad: what he found hardest, what he had learned... and a whole bunch of other stuff!
Let's dive in...
Did you always want to live abroad, or was it a recent decision?
Definitely a recent one. When I was in my early twenties (I’m now 28), I found the idea of living abroad a bit weird - I couldn't understand why you would want to do it! So it’s been interesting to see this growth in myself.
I don't remember the specific moment when I decided to move abroad… I suppose you inspired me with your move abroad a few years before! [Author note: I did not prompt him to say this :)]
It was more of a gradual thing; I started meeting more people from other countries during my Masters degree. And then I took a holiday to Croatia and it opened my eyes up to different cultures and situations, and made me want to explore the world around me more. So it was definitely a more recent decision.
Did you know you which country you wanted to go to from the start?
I was learning German at the time (because I had German friends) so, for me, the language was the decider. I really enjoyed learning German, so it made sense to look at Germany as an option – and obviously studying German limited the countries I could go to!
In terms of which city I went to, I had some friends living in Munich, so it would have made more sense to go there - and that would have been more typically “German”...but I wanted to do something different. Even though I knew it would be out of my comfort zone, I wanted the satisfaction of doing something different and exciting. Other people had said good things about Berlin, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could move there.
When you decided to move abroad, what were the first steps you took?
As I mentioned, I was already learning the language. I remember printing out maps of Germany and Berlin and putting them on my wall so I could start learning the districts and areas. I don't know how much that helped! But it was a good starting point; almost like me saying to myself: “This is happening!”
I did some Internet research at the start but not much. I put the feelers out for jobs and apartments, just to reassure myself that there were jobs and houses available, and to see what the rough cost of housing was.
Did you have a job and an apartment lined up before you went?
No. I didn't worry about finding a job or an apartment until I was in Berlin. I felt like it would be easier when I was out there - which I suppose it probably was, as you’re immersed in the city and culture... plus you have nothing else to focus on but finding work and somewhere to live!
As I mentioned, I was already learning the language. I remember printing out maps of Germany and Berlin and putting them on my wall so I could start learning the districts and areas. I don't know how much that helped! But it was a good starting point; almost like me saying to myself: “This is happening!”
I did some Internet research at the start but not much. I put the feelers out for jobs and apartments, just to reassure myself that there were jobs and houses available, and to see what the rough cost of housing was.
Did you have a job and an apartment lined up before you went?
No. I didn't worry about finding a job or an apartment until I was in Berlin. I felt like it would be easier when I was out there - which I suppose it probably was, as you’re immersed in the city and culture... plus you have nothing else to focus on but finding work and somewhere to live!
How did you find your job and apartment?
I found people’s personal blogs about finding a flat in Berlin very helpful. It's obvious to me now, but when I first started, I wrote very generic emails for apartment applications... which I obviously didn’t get! So I learnt to inject my personality into my applications.
I didn't find a job right away - it took me nearly four months to find a job, and I almost ran out of money before I got it. I started with pretty standard websites like indeed.com. If I’m honest, I lacked imagination at the start – I wasn't really out and about, looking for work. I didn’t put in a lot of unique effort – but that developed as I went on.
In the end I found my job because I went on a bike tour with my mom and aunt who had come to visit me! I wasn’t qualified for the role, as they were looking for people with a degree in History, Politics or German and for applicants to have lived in Berlin for two years (none of which I had), but I thought “Screw it - I'll go for it anyway”.
The main reason I applied for the role was that I was running out of time and money – I only had enough money to last a few weeks more. So although I had no intention of being a tour guide when I first moved there, it actually worked out really well. There was definitely an element of serendipity!
Anything else to add about the job hunting process?
I found it reassuring that things do work out in the end. When you get desperate, you start to ignore restrictions and think “Oh, I'll go for it anyway” – you get cheekier and apply for things that seem out of your league.
Once I had my tour guide role, I also applied for occasional work at an escape room company. My approach this time was more effective as I focused on one particular industry. I emailed people directly and although some companies had no positions available, I did get a lot of responses. By focusing on one industry, I could apply for every available job in that one industry, rather than going on job search sites and not knowing where to focus.
I like having these two different jobs (the tour guiding and the escape room job) as they are very different experiences and they complement each other. I don’t have to sacrifice anything to do either of them.
I found people’s personal blogs about finding a flat in Berlin very helpful. It's obvious to me now, but when I first started, I wrote very generic emails for apartment applications... which I obviously didn’t get! So I learnt to inject my personality into my applications.
I didn't find a job right away - it took me nearly four months to find a job, and I almost ran out of money before I got it. I started with pretty standard websites like indeed.com. If I’m honest, I lacked imagination at the start – I wasn't really out and about, looking for work. I didn’t put in a lot of unique effort – but that developed as I went on.
In the end I found my job because I went on a bike tour with my mom and aunt who had come to visit me! I wasn’t qualified for the role, as they were looking for people with a degree in History, Politics or German and for applicants to have lived in Berlin for two years (none of which I had), but I thought “Screw it - I'll go for it anyway”.
The main reason I applied for the role was that I was running out of time and money – I only had enough money to last a few weeks more. So although I had no intention of being a tour guide when I first moved there, it actually worked out really well. There was definitely an element of serendipity!
Anything else to add about the job hunting process?
I found it reassuring that things do work out in the end. When you get desperate, you start to ignore restrictions and think “Oh, I'll go for it anyway” – you get cheekier and apply for things that seem out of your league.
Once I had my tour guide role, I also applied for occasional work at an escape room company. My approach this time was more effective as I focused on one particular industry. I emailed people directly and although some companies had no positions available, I did get a lot of responses. By focusing on one industry, I could apply for every available job in that one industry, rather than going on job search sites and not knowing where to focus.
I like having these two different jobs (the tour guiding and the escape room job) as they are very different experiences and they complement each other. I don’t have to sacrifice anything to do either of them.
How long did it take you from initially deciding to move, to actually doing it?
From having the initial idea and talking through it with friends and family, to actually moving, was about 18 months. It was a tentative plan for the first year. About six months before I left, I started telling people about it officially: I told the company I worked for that I was planning to leave, I finalized the dates for leaving my job and moving out of my apartment, and I started telling people with certainty that I was going.
What advice would you give to anyone who is thinking about moving abroad?
1. I remember Amy [a mutual friend of ours, who moved to Berlin in 2007] saying “have no pride” when you first move. As in, don't worry if it's embarrassing: go to Couchsurfing events and meet-ups, to meet people and make connections. Couchsurfing was great for me because the people I met there wanted to do touristy things, so it was a great way to get to know the city. It’s easy to meet people through Couchsurfing and other meet-ups; it might not be a lasting friendship - you might only see them for one weekend - but it's a start.
I actually have an embarrassing story - I went to a Couchsurfing event once and I guess I was too early, as no one was there. So I went round the whole bar saying to people “Are you with the Couchsurfing group?” and everyone was looking at me and laughing, like: “You loser!” It was so humiliating! I didn't find the group in the end and I was so embarrassed that I just went home! So you have to be prepared to fail and try again, especially in the first few days.
Other advice I would give:
2. In terms of big projects like finding a job or a house, keep trying different tactics. Don’t just try one thing.
3. Try and establish your environment as quickly as possible - like buying new things for your apartment and making it feel like your own place, so you're not living out of a suitcase.
4. Visit the main tourist sites so you have your bearings and an idea of the basic geography of the area.
5. I found the first day quite difficult as it is such a big change. So if you feel weird and freaked out on the first day, that's OK - just see how it goes over the next couple of days.
Also, remember you’re developing some great life skills. I felt uncomfortable at times during the first two weeks, but you just think to yourself, “I'll see how it is tomorrow”, and then you have a good sleep... and when you've met some more people you start to feel more human.
Are you glad you moved abroad?
Yes - I can't imagine not living abroad now. The fact that I'm still here shows that I'm glad I did it! And it's not the end of my adventure either; I can still move around or go somewhere else, either within Germany or somewhere abroad. Moving abroad doesn’t have to be something you only do once.
Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?
Yes... but that's the benefit of hindsight :) It's all part of the learning process. There were definitely projects I wasted time on, or things I did at the wrong time (i.e. either too early or too late) – but it was worth it as I learned from it. Nothing stands out as being a glaringly big mistake.
Did you have any moments where you thought about quitting - and how did you get past these?
Yes, I must have done. I don't remember thinking “I don't want to do this”, but I do remember having doubts and worrying about it, and the six months before I left felt like a countdown.
When I arrived, the first day was incredibly difficult and I remember almost wanting to go home on the first day! But that was mainly because I was tired. The next day I felt much better. The first day was definitely the toughest. I went between moments of elation and absolute confusion and fear!
And there were other times when I wasn’t thinking about moving back, as such, but I missed the identity that comes from having a job. But that didn’t happen very often – generally the feeling was “It's so great being here, and it's different, and I'm really glad I did this...” And those moments far outweighed the negatives.
What would you say to someone who would like to move abroad, but doesn’t feel they have the necessary skills or experience?
I didn't have any job experience to rely on – I didn't have a specific career to set me up.
In terms of other skills, languages can be really fun to learn, as long as you see it as being enjoyable. Anyone can learn a language to the point of being able to get by, so don’t worry about that.
Yes - I can't imagine not living abroad now. The fact that I'm still here shows that I'm glad I did it! And it's not the end of my adventure either; I can still move around or go somewhere else, either within Germany or somewhere abroad. Moving abroad doesn’t have to be something you only do once.
Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?
Yes... but that's the benefit of hindsight :) It's all part of the learning process. There were definitely projects I wasted time on, or things I did at the wrong time (i.e. either too early or too late) – but it was worth it as I learned from it. Nothing stands out as being a glaringly big mistake.
Did you have any moments where you thought about quitting - and how did you get past these?
Yes, I must have done. I don't remember thinking “I don't want to do this”, but I do remember having doubts and worrying about it, and the six months before I left felt like a countdown.
When I arrived, the first day was incredibly difficult and I remember almost wanting to go home on the first day! But that was mainly because I was tired. The next day I felt much better. The first day was definitely the toughest. I went between moments of elation and absolute confusion and fear!
And there were other times when I wasn’t thinking about moving back, as such, but I missed the identity that comes from having a job. But that didn’t happen very often – generally the feeling was “It's so great being here, and it's different, and I'm really glad I did this...” And those moments far outweighed the negatives.
What would you say to someone who would like to move abroad, but doesn’t feel they have the necessary skills or experience?
I didn't have any job experience to rely on – I didn't have a specific career to set me up.
In terms of other skills, languages can be really fun to learn, as long as you see it as being enjoyable. Anyone can learn a language to the point of being able to get by, so don’t worry about that.
In terms of being social and feeling confident, that’s a skill you never really stop learning. I do feel like I couldn't have done this when I was 20 or 21... I needed those years to mature, in order to do this. But it depends on the person; I think you know whether you're ready or not.
And if you do move abroad and don’t like it, there’s no shame in giving up after three months and going back home! No one is going to think badly of you if you go back. There's nothing to stop you buying a flight back home at any point if you want to. I'm sure many people have done that, in fact!
How have you changed since living abroad/what have you learnt?
Being here has opened me up to the idea of not working a Monday to Friday 9 to 5. Also to having lots of holiday time so I can go away whenever I like, for long periods of time. For example, if I want, I can take two months off to go travelling during the off-season. I wasn’t aware of that concept before but I am now... and it would be very difficult to lose now!
What comes next...?
I’m not sure! Maybe moving to a smaller town that feels more “German”. My main plan is to become more fluent in German. I don't have any concrete, long-term plans other than that right now.
Thank you Simon, for being my first Real Life Story interviewee!
If you’ve achieved a big goal or dream and you’d like to share how you did it or what you learned, let me know – I would love to hear your story!
And if you do move abroad and don’t like it, there’s no shame in giving up after three months and going back home! No one is going to think badly of you if you go back. There's nothing to stop you buying a flight back home at any point if you want to. I'm sure many people have done that, in fact!
How have you changed since living abroad/what have you learnt?
Being here has opened me up to the idea of not working a Monday to Friday 9 to 5. Also to having lots of holiday time so I can go away whenever I like, for long periods of time. For example, if I want, I can take two months off to go travelling during the off-season. I wasn’t aware of that concept before but I am now... and it would be very difficult to lose now!
What comes next...?
I’m not sure! Maybe moving to a smaller town that feels more “German”. My main plan is to become more fluent in German. I don't have any concrete, long-term plans other than that right now.
Thank you Simon, for being my first Real Life Story interviewee!
If you’ve achieved a big goal or dream and you’d like to share how you did it or what you learned, let me know – I would love to hear your story!