Do you only focus on the things you do wrong?

My son just finished school for the summer holidays and things have been a bit crazy. 
 
Maybe it's the same where you are.
 
Or maybe you don't have kids, but you have a busy summer ahead of you.
 
Either way, I’ve found that when things are hectic, my thoughts tend to go in one direction… downwards!

Some examples...
 

• My house is a mess - my son and our cat seem to be on a mission to Make A Mess in every room, every day :)
  
  
• I went on an inflatable obstacle course earlier this week and hurt my back by jumping badly, and now I feel stupid.
  
  
• I planned to eat a healthy breakfast this morning but instead I’ve just had coffee.
  
  
• I tried a new energy bar recipe but I didn’t have enough honey so I used sugar instead, and they came out disgusting and gloopy :D

 
I don’t know about you, but I can usually think of a zillion things I’m doing wrong at any given time.
 
I wonder if you’re the same.

Over to you...
 
If I asked you right now, I bet most of you could instantly list ten things you’re “messing up”, or things you could be doing better.
 
[I snapped at my kids… my closet is a mess… I haven’t called my mom/sister/grandad for weeks… I ate a full pack of cookies last night…]
 
It’s so easy to think of all the things we’re doing “wrong”.
 
Don’t get me wrong - it’s important to take stock and learn from our mistakes… that’s where the growth happens.
 
But sometimes we go too far, and end up focusing solely on our failures.

A challenge for this week...
 
If you can relate, hit pause for a minute and think about the following:
 
What are you doing “right”?
 
[By “right”, I don’t mean correctly or perfectly… I mean in opposition to the things you feel you’re messing up or doing wrong.]
 
It’s so easy to remember the “bad” things: the conversation where you said something stupid; the room in your house filled with boxes and clutter; the way other people seem to be crushing it and you just managed to have a shower today…
 
So often, we see the “bad” in ourselves and not the good.
 
So if you have a minute, take out a pen and paper, and make a list…
 
What are you doing "right", right now?!
 
What good things are you doing that you might have missed?
 

• Maybe you’re caring for an elderly parent while juggling working and being a parent.
  
  
• Maybe you’re struggling with depression, but you showed up to volunteer at a local community project.  
  
  
• Maybe you were really patient with your child or nibling even though you were having a tough day.
  
  
• Maybe you were super tired, but you stayed late to help a co-worker who was struggling.

 
Cause here's the thing:
 
I bet that for every mistake you make, there are 10 things you're doing “right” as well.
 
And “right” doesn’t have to be noteworthy or incredible.
 
It might just be surviving.
 
It might be commonplace.
 
Surviving, keeping the peace, or simply ticking along are all wins!
 
So my advice for today: try to find something you’re doing well, every time you berate yourself for doing something wrong.

Examples from my own life...
 
- It’s the summer holidays and I’m a solo parent, but I’m still managing to send this newsletter.
 
- I didn’t eat well this morning, but I did make some healthy granola the other day and it didn’t take long (i.e. I can quickly and easily do it again!)
 
- I was stupid in hurting my back, but I found some great strength exercises for when I’m feeling better - and now I have the motivation to do them! :)

Final words...
 
We’re always gonna mess up; that’s a given - especially if you’re striving to improve yourself (which so many of you here are, in wonderful ways!)
 
But throughout all the mishaps and mess-ups, we often forget the things we’re doing well in the day-to-day.
 
So remember the balance:
 
“Yes I messed up, but I also had these wins…”
 
“Yes that conversation wasn’t great, but I had just worked a 12-hour shift…”
 
“Yes I did go to bed late last night… but hopefully I’ll be really tired for tonight!?!”
 
Your comments and thought are welcome as always!

Love,
 
Claire  

❤