Do you expect too much of yourself?

I was thinking about me and my partner today. We go through ups and downs - like any couple - and have moments where it feels like we’re on different planets.

I try to explain myself, and he takes it the wrong way. He gets frustrated, and I don’t understand why. (Etc, etc.)
 
Normal couple stuff.
 
And yet, recently, I was beating myself up for this. I kept thinking:
 
“Why can’t I communicate with him clearly? I should be able to express myself by now!
 
I can’t believe we’re still having these tricky moments in our relationship!”
 
And yet, we’ve only been married for two years. That’s not long, on the scale of things!
 
So what makes me think I should have our relationship and communication methods down to a fine art?!

Why do I expect myself to know exactly what I’m doing, at this relatively early stage of our marriage?
 
We’re just at the start of our relationship. We have our whole lives ahead of us together.
 
So of course I don’t know exactly how to talk to my partner in every moment of stress or frustration. We’re still figuring it out – and that’s okay.

My learning moment...
 
This got me thinking: isn’t it funny how we expect ourselves to be good at something, the moment we start it?!
 
We start a business... and beat ourselves up if we don’t know exactly what we’re doing, all the time.
 
We run our first online course... and get frustrated that it didn’t go perfectly.
 
But the first time – or few times – are always going to involve learning, and growing, and making mistakes.
 
In fact, it’s a key part of life (whatever stage you’re at):

• If you’ve just started writing your first program or book, and you’re not really sure how this whole thing works... that’s OKAY!
  
  
• If you’re creating your first newsletter or podcast, and you’re not really sure if it’s any good... that’s okay too!
  
  

Whenever we experience new things, they’re going to test us. They’ll involve nerves, and not knowing what we’re doing.
 
So be a beginner.
 
Be at the start of your journey (if that’s where you are).
 
The things you go through now will help you in the future.
 
The challenges I go through with my partner now will make us stronger in the years to come.
 
That learning about your new Etsy store or fledgling program is necessary for growth and expansion.
 
That person you want to be in the future is achievable - by messing up... and trying again... and keeping going.
 
We don’t need to be experts at the start of the process. We just need to show up, and keep going. (And hopefully have fun!)
 
So I’m still learning how to communicate well with my partner... but it’s a challenge I’m willing to take on.
 
How about you: What challenge are YOU willing to take on? What are you willing to be a beginner at?
 
Sending you high fives for the amazing work you’re doing – whatever stage you’re at :)

Claire
 
❤